Search This Blog

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

That Time I saw Jesus

I've had the desire to be artistic the last few days. I even went out to buy a pack of new pencils to help me find my hidden drawing skills. Sadly, this is not a God-given talent that I have, nor will I ever have. I think I have to give up on being an artist, and according to my wife, I also have to give up on my dream of being a singer. Ouch.

However, if I were an artist there would be a masterpiece that I would spend all my time on. This image is one burned in my deep into my mind, probably until my last breath upon this earth. Much like I can close my eyes and see my mother or my father, or even my darling girls, I close my eyes and this image explodes in my mind. This image is of the time I saw Jesus.

Well, I sort of saw Jesus. Not like face to face, in real time, but I did see him in a very special dream. I had this dream probably 10 years ago, but I feel it is just as relevant to me now as it was then.

In this dream, I was the commander of a military. I was riding on horseback, leading my troops away from the safety of our homes towards a very volatile location.We knew that we were riding into battle, but everyone was very confident in their skills, weapons, and armor. Above all, I believe they had confidence in me as a commander.

As we rode on, we began to encounter tall grass, which slowed down our movements and limited our sight. Eventually, we could not move on, before us was a barrier of grass/weeds, bamboo and trees. Behind us was the brightness of the daylight; before us lay a deep darkness. It was a darkness that could not be penetrated, but instead penetrated our hearts and minds, causing fear.

Suddenly, the ground began to shake and rumble. The sound of a multitude of evil was coming straight toward us. I gave orders to prepare ourselves for the incoming enemies, but as sudden as the sound began, it then ended. We awaited nervously for something to happen.

Out of the darkness, we  then saw balls of red form up and come closer to us. The sound began again, and several people ran away in fear. Then, out of the darkness came spears thrown from the enemy. All around me, my troops were slain, and routing in defeating. I did the only logical thing to do and called for the retreat. The few of us remained ran and rode away as fast as we could, not looking back to see our attackers.

As we got further away from the scene of the battle, I looked up and saw what appeared to be a scene out of Lord of the Rings (I actually stopped here to go watch that scene. You should too). Ahead of me was an army far greater that I have ever seen, and they were charging my way. At the forefront was a man dressed in the whitest garments I have even seen, so much that the shone in sunlight. He rode upon a white horse, and held a double-edged sword. I could not make out his face, but I felt that I knew who he was.

The distance between us shrunk rapidly, and soon they were on top of us. At the last minute the man reached down his hand to me, and picked me up to ride with him. It was at this point that I saw his face. My own words cannot describe what I saw, but I feel that the 1st chapter of Revelation has a good description.

"The hairs of his head were white, like white wool, like snow. His eyes were like a flame of fire...and his face was like the sun shining in full strength."

It was the most spectacular scene in my life, dreaming or reality. It felt as if time stopped, for me to catch that glimpse of him. To have my eyes meet his eyes.

 Even though my eyes have seen so many different human representations of Jesus, this didn't look like any of them, but I knew it was him. I knew this was the same Jesus that spoke shocking truths in temples, healed the sick, and rose from the dead.

After that moment of seeing his face, I was on his horse with him riding back into the battle. He told me "Do not be afraid, for this battle is already finished and I have already won".

The next thing I know is that we rode straight into the evil creatures, and they were instantly vanquished. And I remember seeing them, and they were not as I originally imagined. They were very short, ugly, and fat creatures; more comical than diabolical. But I never knew that, as I let fear get hold of me and I ran away.

That was the only time I saw Jesus' face in the dream. The rest of the dream is a little bit blurry to me, but I remember he said something else, and I went to another location.

This dream came to me at a critical time in my life. I had recently became serious about following after Jesus, and had a serious of bad things happen in my personal life. Top that off with my lackluster college performance and a bout of depression, and I wasn't in a good place. It would have been easy to give up on life, and I wanted to. Yet, God gave me this dream of hope to see me through those dark times.

I believe this dream was meant to speak to me then, and it is meant to speak to me now,  as well as in the future. The past 12 months have been among my darkest in this life. I have been tried as I never have before. Some of it has been brought on by myself, but much of it is out of my hands. With so much going on, it would be easy to slip back into that mindset of giving up and running away. How I want to some days!

Yet, I know that my God has already won my battles and defeated my enemies. I know that I am secured with him riding before me. On my own, I might fail myself and others, but Jesus redeems me and uses my failures for his glory and turns them into his victories. And he shares those victories with me.

He says "Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades"

Seeing Jesus was one of the most amazing moments of my life. But it was only that time. I doubt I will see him again until I pass or he returns to this earth. But, I know that everyday I can still experience his presence, hear his words, model his life, and live life free of fear and guilt.

How great it is to be found in Him, and to be loved by Him!

Friday, April 14, 2017

Just some thoughts on this Good Friday.

Just some thoughts on this Good Friday.

The Jewish leaders looked at the cross that day, and saw a blasphemer, one who came to lead the people astray.

The Romans looked at the cross and saw a philosopher and political opponent whose message undermined the power Caesar, the true divine man.

Muslims look at the cross and see a lie, because Allah would never hand over their beloved Prophet Isa ibn Maryam to the evil men of this world.

Atheists will look at the cross and not see a crucifixion, but a cruci-fiction. The cross is as empty and bare as the promises of religion.

Others look at the cross, and see the statue of a man, frozen in time, distant and far away from all of us.

My brothers and sisters look at the cross and see hope and salvation for all of mankind.

Truthfully, though, I look at the cross and see my guilt and shame, being worn by an innocent man. I see injustice being handed out for my crimes, which deserve justice.

Every foul thought is a thorn, cutting into his head.

Every lie from lips is the vinegar water put in his mouth.

The sins I have crafted with this hands and the forbidden paths I have walked, are the nails going deeper through his flesh.

My heart is torn in half like the veil, as I contemplate all the mockery, shame, pain, and death that is due to me, but taken by him.

When I look at that cross, I see myself; the very essence of who I am, my nature, hanging upon that old rugged cross. But it isn’t I hanging exposed for the world to see.  It is “he who knew no sin”, Jesus.

He did not curse those I have cursed.

He did not lust after that for which I have lusted.

He did not speak ill things about others, or harbor resentment against those that I have.

He knew none of these things, but he suffered for them, that I could be considered clean in the eyes of God.

Why should the innocent suffer for me?

The easy answer is to say “love”, but do I know such a love? This love is too much of a mystery for me, and I fear my mind will never grasp it. It is too deep, too high, too far, too wide for this feeble man to understand.

But I do know this much: At one time, we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! The old life has passed, and a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us to himself through Christ.  And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him.  For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. And we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” (2 Cor. 5:16 – 20, NLT)

So, that is me. I have been made clean, and called to plea with others to come back. Called to see what SHOULD have been, and what is. Called to embrace this new life in Christ, and let the old perish. Called to be reconciled to others, and to God. Called to be compelled by his great, mysterious love.

Have a blessed Good Friday.



Friday, February 3, 2017

To Sink or Swim

Several years back, I found myself in the Ozarks of Missouri. I’d been chosen to lead in a campus ministry at Western Illinois University (my alma mater), and this was the annual leader retreat. It was scheduled to be a beautiful time away from the stresses of busy campus life. And for the most part, it was.

That is, until I almost drowned.

No seriously, I almost drowned!

I am sure you are curious about how I almost became fish food, so here is a recap. This was almost 10 years ago, so all of the details my not be the most accurate, but I tried to remember it as best possible.
It was the middle of summer. The sun was bright and warm, and the water was cool and refreshing. In each canoe, two or three people sat grouped together. Up and down the river (I forget which), there were cheerful conversations, and plenty of laughs. Every now and then, you’d even hear a few high-pitched screams as a couple of guys would purposely flip their canoes to send girls overboard into the river. Because, college.

After stopping a while for lunch, and to let some of the more adventurous students jump off a cliff into the river, we all got back in our canoes to head to the destination point.

This is where things got a bit tricky.

A few days prior to our arrival, a good rain storm came through the area and left the river a little bit extra flooded. So, the river ended up being fiercer the further we got down it. At one point, the water funneled between two rocks that the canoes were supposed to go through. However, because of the current, one canoe got trapped sideways against the rocks instead of going through them. The next canoe came up quick, smashing into side and flipping the canoe over. 2 or 3 of the canoers came up immediately, but we could not find the one girl, Anna, who could not swim. Everyone began frantically searching under the water to find her, and couldn’t. Eventually, someone found out that she had been trapped under the flipped canoe, safe and sound, though a little shaken.

In the process of trying to find Anna, I jumped out of my canoe to aid in the rescue. I was trying to be a hero, but I ended up being stupid. It was only a matter of moments before Anna came out of the capsized canoe. So, since I was already out, I volunteered to swim after one of the canoe paddles that was floating down the river. Stupid mistake #1 was jumping out of the canoe without a life jacket (pro-tip, always wear a life jacket when you are in a boat). But that is okay, I was a decent swimmer.
Well, stupid mistake #2 was that I jumped in with my shoes on. If you didn’t know, shoes get heavy quick in the water. Suddenly, I found myself in a part of the river that was engorged, and I was in the middle with tired, heavy legs, and no flotation device. As the sinking realization of my predicament came over me, I realized that I, too, was physically sinking in the water. It was at this point, I made the third stupid mistake; I panicked. That only caused me to flop around, expending the little precious energy I had left. So, I sank. Sank. Sank.

Then I hit the bottom.

In shear desperation, I did the only think I could think of: use the river bottom as spring board. I pushed myself up as hard as I could, and I burst through the dark waters into the light. In that moment, I looked around me, and I saw people going on as if I wasn’t in danger of drowning. I remember even seeing an older man who wasn’t part of our group that went by me as I was yelling for help and struggling in the water. He didn’t stop, or even slow down. He looked at me, and passed on by. It was at this point that I truly believed I was finished.

But, yet again, my instincts kicked in as I (more calmly) allowed myself to sink to the river bottom again. This time, I propelled myself up, and to the side. My only hope was to try to get to shore. For the next minute or two, I continued this process of sinking into the water and propelling to the side. Finally, I got to a point that I could grab on a fallen tree dipping into the water. I clung to that tree as if it was my entire world. I was safe. I was not dead. That tree was my refuge.

The story doesn’t end there. I waited in the water hanging onto that tree for a few minutes until the canoe entanglement got straightened up. Finally, my fellow canoers steered the boat towards me. And then my head got smashed between the tree and boat. Despite probably having a concussion, I was able to grab on to the boat and float to the end point, just a few minutes further down the river. Once I got to land, I just sat there in a bit of shock. The most shocking part was that not a single person had even asked me if I was okay. I don’t know if they knew I was on the verge of dying a few moments before. I stayed in that dazed, shock like state for the ride back to the cabins.

Now, I am sure you might have a few questions.
  • Why didn’t I wear a life jacket? Well, I was being super cool college guy, of course.
  • Why didn’t I take my shoes off before jumping into the water? In my moment of pretending to be a hero, I was caught up in being in the water and doing water rescue stuff. I have never done a water rescue, so that bit about stripping down to the necessary layer was a bit beyond me.
  • Why didn’t I take my shoes off once I was in the water? Uh, because I grew up poor, and you just don’t let your shoes float down the river. 
  • Why did I wear shoes at all? I hate feet, and people seeing my feet. Fair enough?
  • Why did I tell this story?
Well, that is the important question. I told this story in a way to explain how I currently feel in my life. People don’t always know how to relate to certain emotions, but I think most people can imagine the feeling of the fear and despair while drowning. It is a fear that most people have. It seems like a terrible way to die.
Anyway, up until December 1st, 2016, my life was like that nice, warm, sunny day. Sure, I was going into some rough waters with twin baby girls on the way, but it was a fun trip. I couldn’t be happier to be on that trip. But something happened. My life got toppled over, and I fell into the water, with so many things weighing me down. Who will take care of the funeral arrangements? How will we pay for everything? Where will we bury them? When will we get back to work to ensure continuity of paychecks to survive? How am I going to entertain all the friends and family who will visit? How can I look strong to make people think I have it together? How can I truly be strong to help my hurting wife? How can I be strong to help my grieving family, who has already lost so much? All of this were like wet, heavy shoes stopping me from swimming, and causing me to sink.

I admit, I think I put on a good show. I spoke very boldly about praising God through the pain. There was a lot of talk about lifting Him up, but on the inside I kept sinking deeper. That isn't to say that I don't believe those things I said.  I did mean so much of it. I try my best to lift the Lord above all things. I know He is the one who gives me every breath, and to him everything I own is owed (and more). I truly want(ed) to be that strong rock, but like the Peter (the rock), I sank in beneath the wind and waves.
I hate to say this, but I have even felt that God has been like the man who passed me in the river. He could have intervened at any time, but has just watched as I struggle to stay in the light, gasping for breath. If that is a sinful thought, Lord forgive me.

I hate even more to say that I have felt that just as my college friends didn’t see the extent to which I was shaken up by the river incident, my community truly hasn’t seen the extent to which I have been shaken by the deaths of our girls. This, of course, isn't on them. My community has been wonderful in reaching out and supporting us. I, however, have a rough time letting people in to my mind or heart. If it wasn't for writing, I doubt I'd ever get anything thing out.

I've realized how unhealthy this is, just this week. I went to the doctor for some issues that seemed related to my heart. It turns out that I am apparently very tense and stressed. I am probably riddled with anxiety. Sorrow is just behind a door, ready to burst through at any moment. Luckily, I am pretty good at not crying in front of people.  However, as I was waiting for the doctor to come into my room to perform a simple check-up, my eyes began to fill with water. All I could think about was my girls. 

There have even been times that I have almost lost it at work. I sit there in a daze, and only they come to my mind. Everything about them sits there stirring; the reality of their loss, seeing them motionless on the ultrasound, the lost hopes and dreams that I had for their future. I will never hear them call me papi, say their prayers, or walk them down the aisle. The one thing I ever wanted to do is to be a daddy, and that desire was stolen away from me.

On top of this, I have had the horrible realization that death will only continue to get worse as I age. In 2016, people experienced a lot of loss. I found out that someone that I had been close to, and looked up to, had gone missing and then was found dead. My dad and stepmom then lost their baby boy, a little brother that I will never get see grow up. And of course, our girls passed just two weeks before their delivery.  If 2016 was that bad, the future will only be worse. If I manage to live a while, I will see more friends pass.  Then comes my elderly family, and mentors. Then my parents. Maybe my own wife, or my siblings. Death doesn't scare me personally, but I fear so much the loss of those around me, and this fear keeps me up at night.

I feel as if all of this will move me to the edge, at some point.

Yet, I know that instead of being like stupid me in the river, trying to work my distress out on my own, I need to be like Peter sinking below the waves. As he sank to his doom, Scripture says the following: “he (Peter) cried out ‘Lord, save me’. Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying ‘Why did you doubt?’ Then they got into the boat, and the wind ceased. Those in the boat worshiped him, saying ‘Truly, you are the Son of God.’”
I have been sinking, almost to a point where I would be stuck in the mud on the bottom. Instead, I know that I must continue to cry out to the Lord, asking for his hand of mercy and salvation, to pull me out of the water. I need to remember that he is truly the Son of God, and that I should not doubt. I need to remember he is the God of life, and not of death.

That is the hard part. Just calming myself, and letting him take control. I know I SHOULD do it, but it is a matter of actually going through with it.

If anyone reads this, I want them to know that yes, I am sad. I am crushed. I feel like it is never going to end in my mind. BUT, I am not giving up on life. I am not giving up on my family. I am not giving up on God. I just need to say what's been eating away at me. It is how I release my stress, and deal with my situations.

If you feel that I have been in a funk, or acting weird - don't worry, I know. Just please bear with me while I try to let things get worked out in my heart and my head. I promise I will do my best not let things get the better part of me.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Oh, to Have the Faith of a Saint.


An Overview
Of all the prominent early Christians, Saint Polycarp is my favorite. Born just four years after the deaths of Saints Peter and Paul, Polycarp lived some 86 (or more) years before finally being martyred. I have not been able to find much about his early life, but we know a few things: He was apparently born into and raised as a Christian, he was disciple by the Apostle John (author of the Gospel of John, 3 Epistles, and the Revelation), and he was appointed as the Bishop of the Church at Smyrna.

During his time as Bishop, he wrote a pastoral letter to the Philippians. In it, we see that Polycarp was not as much of an intellect as Paul (the Greek was a little messy), but he was very humble, yet direct in his teachings. I love that description of him. He knew exactly what the truth was, and how to say it, but he wasn’t a boastful person as some preachers or religious authorities may be.

Dealing with Heresy
An important milestone in his story was his confrontation with one of the Church’s first major heretic, the Gnostic teach Marcion. For a point of clarification: Gnostics are those who mixed pagan Greek mythology and philosophy with that of Judeo-Christian teachings. It is a bastardization of both. Marcion was a prominent Gnostic teacher that led many of the early Church astray. He believed and taught that there were two Gods. The first was an evil Hebrew God as seen in the Old Testament. This is a God of wrath, war, and destruction. The second God was the loving God that Jesus preached about. He is the God of mercy, love, and salvation. These two Gods duel, but the God worthy of worship is the God that Jesus taught about. It should be noted that Marcion also believed Docetism, which is the heresy that Jesus was only spirit, and never man. Therefore, he was not God-in-Flesh, and never actually suffered death for the sins of mankind.

Per Saint Irenaeus, another early church father, Marcion was a disciple of Cerdo, another Gnostic who taught this dualistic view of God. Tradition states that Cerdo was a follower of Simon Magus. This is where we are going to take a break from the story of Polycarp and dive into a quick history. I only do this because of what I have discovered in my studies so far. I feel it is amazing to see so much interconnection, so I want to share.


Heresy Has a History

Before we go on with Simon, Cerdo, and Marcion, let’s go back into the Old Testament.

Like way back. Remember Abraham? Well, he had a son named Isaac. Isaac had a son named Jacob, who later was named Israel. From him, there were 12 sons, who later became 12 tribes. Here is a nifty little map of the tribes settling in the land of Canaan, which later became the Kingdom of Israel.



The tribes lived a loose confederation for some time, until the unification under King Saul. King Saul lost his kingship to David. David was a good king, but sinned, and God promised that there were some bad things coming to his family. When David dies, his son Solomon became king. Solomon was wise, but also a bit of a dictator. Upon his death, Solomon’s son Rehoboam became king. He was also a bit of a dictator which caused a secession of the northern part of Israel from the south. The north became the Kingdom of Israel, and the south was called Judah. The north was very prosperous due to its proximity to major trade lanes and powerful entities. Thus, they lost the connection to the faith of their people, and began to include idolatry.



Fast forward a little bit, and we see the King Omri take control of the Northern Kingdom. He decides to create a new capital city, and called it Samaria. Samaritans were known to follow a syncretic religious system that mixed parts of traditional YHWH worship (Judaism) and Paganism. According to the Bible, this eventually led to the conquest of Israel (and later, Judah), and the exile of the Israelites.
Now, in the time of Jesus, a few hundred years after the exile, the Jews had a disdain for the Samaritans, going way back to the secession and later conquest. This is the reason why it is astounding to see Jesus tell the parable of the Good Samaritan to the Jewish people, and then later his comfort of the Samaritan woman at the well. The Samaritans were deviants from the true faith, but Jesus extended his graces to them, because of his nature to extend grace to all humankind.


This is the point we get back to Simon Magus. This name should be familiar to anyone who has read Acts 8. Simon Magus was a sorcerer who amazed everyone in the city of Samaria. The Samaritans called him the “The Great One – The Power of God”. Simon, a Samaritan, saw that the Jewish/Christian apostles came to his city preaching the Gospel. Thus, he supposedly became a believer and followed them. Upon seeing other converts receive the Holy Spirit, and greats things were being done, Simon offered money to the apostles to receive the same power. Remember, this is a man who amazed the same people which mixed pagan idolatry with the truth of God. He had a counterfeit power, and upon seeing the true power of God, he coveted and offered earthly materials to receive it.



 Saint Peter rebuked him saying:

“May your money be destroyed with you for thinking God’s gift can be bought! You can have no part in this, for your heart is not right with God. Repent of your wickedness and pray to the Lord. Perhaps he will forgive your evil thoughts, for I can see that you are full of bitter jealousy and are held captive by sin.”  Acts 8:20 - 23

 It is because of his history, this interaction, and later tradition that Simon was held the early church to be the “Father of all Heresies”. Unconfirmed legend has him leaving Samaria and going to Rome and using his magic to impress the people so much that they made a statue of him. As I mentioned earlier, a man named Cerdo was a follower of the teachings of Simon, and was known to first teach the dualistic view of God that Marcion later made more popular. This is a literal succession of heresy.

Back to the Future

 Up to this point I have shown how a succession of evil existed from well before Christ walked this earth until the time of Polycarp (and if we look at other history, we could see it exists until now). This evil ideology mixed elements of pagan idolatry and the truth faith of God. This succession of evil existed alongside the authentic succession of God’s Kingdom on this planet. Polycarp was the disciple of John, the disciple of Jesus. Jesus is the heir to the kingdom of David, and to all things. His path is the true path, while the evil path tries to take truth and mix it with the ignorance of the world.
So these two paths of succession have run parallel for some time, and they continuously clash. One such clash was when Polycarp called out Marcion. Because of this clash, people began to turn away from the false lies of Gnosticism to the truth of Orthodox Christianity. A side note, Polycarp literally translates to “rich in fruit”, and seeing his impact on converting people away from evil shows his name was divinely given.
Polycarp was direct, and he was humble. These characteristics are just two that I pray for, that I may take after his example.

Polycarp's Martyrdom
It is, however, another characteristic that I pray for more than any other, and this is seen at the time of Polycarp’s death. He was arrested for unknown specific reasons, but there appears to have been an outbreak of persecution around Smyrna at the time Polycarp was arrested. Being that he was the Bishop it makes sense that he was probably highly sought out. Break him, and you break the Christians.
Fearing for his life, friends and family begged him to leave. He agreed to go to a small villa to hide out, but a later dream caused him to stay. He waited at home until he was betrayed by a servant and the guards came to him. Polycarp was taken before the local proconsul, and there was back and forth banter between the two, which apparently enraged the proconsul and declared Polycarp to die.
At 86/87 years old, Polycarp was placed in front of a hostile crowd. When faced with the option to die or to deny Christ, Polycarp stated:
“86 years have I served Christ, and he has never done me any wrong. How can I blaspheme against my King and Savior?”
Again they pushed him and he replied :

“Since you are vainly urgent that, as you say, I should swear by the fortune of Caesar, and pretend not to know who and what I am, hear me declare with boldness, I am a Christian. And if you wish to learn what the doctrines of Christianity are, appoint me a day, and you shall hear them.”
Finally, the leaders told Polycarp that he would be eaten by animals if he did not recant Christ. They then told him of the horror of being burned alive. To this, Polycarp stated:
“You threaten me with fire which burns for an hour, and after a little is extinguished, but are ignorant of the fire of the coming judgment and of eternal punishment, reserved for the ungodly. But why do you wait? Bring forth what you will.”
Then the guards began to place him in the spot where the fire would be. They were to nail him to a stake, but he assured them that he would stay there on his own. So, they started the fire to kill Polycarp. However, per the Christian witnesses, he was completely unharmed by the fire. Instead, he became a golden-brown color (not burnt), and instead of smelling his flesh, they smelled a strong sweet fragrance. After seeing that he would not die by the fire, they took a dagger and cut him open, so much that his blood extinguished the fire.


His body was later burned after his death, but not before the Christians grabbed some bones to have as relics of this holy man.
After that time, he was revered by some of the people of the area as a righteous man.

A Peculiar Revelation
Now, there is one detail I left out. Remember how I said that he was the Bishop of Smyrna? And that he was disciple by John?
50+ years before this execution took place, John wrote the Revelation he saw from God. In it, there are seven churches that receive a message from God. Smyrna is one of them. This is what God said to the church of Smyrna, 50+ years before Polycarp was executed:

“Write this letter to the angel of the church in Smyrna. This is the message from the one who is the First and the Last, who was dead but is now alive:
I know about your suffering and your poverty—but you are rich! I know the blasphemy of those opposing you. They say they are Jews, but they are not, because their synagogue belongs to Satan.

Don’t be afraid of what you are about to suffer. The devil will throw some of you into prison to test you. You will suffer for ten days. But if you remain faithful even when facing death, I will give you the crown of life.
Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what he is saying to the churches. Whoever is victorious will not be harmed by the second death.” Revelation 2:8 -11

I was astonished by this message. Before Polycarp was arrested, it was said he had a dream. No one know what the dream was about, but I like to think he saw the same vision that John saw. He knew that he had to suffer completely (10 being the number of completion) and remain faithful, to receive the Crown of Life.

Conclusion
This story has been near and dear to my heart over the last week or two. I probably will never have to suffer a persecution like this. But in the face of the death of my girls, it would be tempting to reject Christ and his truth, and have some sort of weird syncretic worldview. But, even in the light of their death, I cannot find any harm that Christ has brought to me. There is no way I could blaspheme him in this time, or when I am ever faced with my own death.

I will never be a Polycarp. But I do pray that God will answer my prayers to follow in his example. I pray to be humbler, more direct about the truth, and to be courageous and faithful in the face of death. In the end, the only thing that matters is Jesus.


Read the full account of Polycarp's Martyrdom here.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Pride Cometh Before the Fall

G.K. Chesterton, in writing about the evils of the Great War, said

As for the general view that the Church was discredited by the War—they might as well say that the Ark was discredited by the Flood. When the world goes wrong, it proves rather that the Church is right. The Church is justified, not because her children do not sin, but because they do.

In light of the recent mass murder in Orlando, I think it is time to dust off this quote and consider its implication.

First a quick history lesson: the Great War, aka World War One was perhaps one the most worthless, waste of human lives in the history of all man. Now, this is saying something, as all war is the worthless wasting of human lives. However, this was was especially worthless, and especially wasteful. During the latter half of the 19th century, the world was undergoing a radical shift in living conditions. It was progressing faster than any other time in the history of man. Yet, all this came to a halt in 1914, when an assassin sparked a series of military escalations between rivaling alliances. This escalation led to over 30 million people being killed or injured. The aftermath included a worldwide pandemic, a global depression, and the rise of fascists and communists, both of which killed hundreds of millions of others.

If you were a soldier during the war, you could expect constant bombardment of artillery while in your trench. Then, it would be time to cross the battle field, sometimes known as no man's land. Crossing this patch of earth meant running from crater to crater, getting passed barbed-wire and mines, jumping over stacks of dead bodies, all the while charging towards entrenched men who were shooting at you. These charges back and forth across the field rarely lead to any major gains in land.  In other words, you would make suicide charges to capture a few acres of land, only to have said land taken back by the enemy's suicide charge.

If you want to know more of the brutality and futility of this war, I suggest Dan Carlin's Hardcore History podcast titled "Blue Print for Armageddon". It has really opened my eyes to the idiocy of war.

In short, World War One was stupid, pointless, and a waste of human life. It is an evil that we are still suffering from in this day.

This leads me back to the quote from Chesterton. It was the opinion of many in that time that the war was a reflection upon the failure of the Church. Catholics killed Catholics. Protestants killed Protestants. Christians were slaughtering each other whole sale. On all sides, men were led to believe they were fighting not only for their country, but for God. The logical problem with this is that all sides believed in the same God! How can God be on the side of all who were fighting? More importantly, how could God allow them to murder each other without impunity? This evil, people said, was proof that the Church was wrong, and ultimately that God is either not real, or not caring.

This type of mindset is common to this very day. Already people are blaming God, or using this an a reason to say God is a fraud. Yet, as Chesterton points out, this very evil deed actually does not discredit the Church, but proves the very basis of the teachings of the Church.

For 2000 years, Christians have preached the sinful nature of man. Yet, one does not need to be a Christian to see that man is evil. Simply look at Orlando. Or Iraq. Or 9-11. Or World War One. Or the mean spirited words that people speak to each other. Or the sexual assaults on young women. Or perhaps the hateful feeling we hold in our hearts. I can go on with example after example, and people would say that yes, these are evil things. Yet, the same people will scoff when the Christian preaches about the horrors of sin, and the need for cleansing from our evil ways. To me, it is a side irony, asking why evil exists while mocking those who speak about evil and the need to rid ourselves of.

This brings me to today, Sunday, June 12th, 2016.

What we have seen over the last 24 hours has been nothing less than disgusting. Looking past the horrific deed of mass murder, we need only to look at Facebook posts and Twitter feeds to see the awful nature of mankind. We are not even 24 hours after the brutal murders of 50 people, and there are millions of Americans who are fighting each other online or in the media. And this is not just a one time event. This happens after the news of any national tragedy.

It starts with the pointing fingers before facts are ever stated.  "Oh, it must be a right winger nut job!" "No, it has to be a radical Muslim" People are so quick to blame, because their biases tell them it must be this "other" group that is so awful and bad.

Then as the facts come out, one side smugly does the "I told you so", and says this is more proof that the "other" group is bad.

Now the slimy politicians use the opportunity to fire up their base, painting the opposing politicians as supporters of bad people, or the very least, supporters of bad policies that help bad people.  By the way, they don't do this because they believe it will actually solve anything. They do it because they are self-centered narcissists who want any spotlight, negative or positive, on them.

The fact of the matter is that Americans have a pride issue. As a Christian, I can tell you that pride is spoken about very negatively in the Scriptures. In fact, if you were to go into a church on any given Sunday, you probably will hear someone talk about the negative impacts of pride.

The actions that we see happening after national tragedies are the result of pride driven people.  How else can you explain politicians turning the spotlight to themselves during a tragedy? How else can you explain people using the death of others to justify their political biases? It takes an awfully prideful person to do such a thing.

Sadly, people do not see the damage that pride brings.

Imagine if a family member of one of those who were murdered, were to come on to Twitter or Facebook to see what people were saying about this tragedy. Do you think they will get comfort from the endless flame wars in comment sections? Will their loved ones come back to life because you get to say "I told you so"?  Is your smug sense of self righteousness more important than their suffering? Is it more important than those who died? Because that is exactly what it comes off as when you act the way you do.

Even if you are an Atheist, you should take heed the warnings of  Scripture when it says (paraphrase) that "Pride comes before the destruction". You might reject all of Christianity and what the church has to say, but our reactions to these national tragedies are absolutely justifying what the church has spoken on the evils of pride.

 Our culture cannot survive our collective pride. In these days, everyone has an opinion that they must share. I know, because I am one of those people! In fact, I might be among some of the worst! I have an opinion on everything, and I am very quick to say it. Social media makes it a lot easier to have this mindset.  But really it boils down to our pride saying  "people will want to hear what I have to say, because what I have to say is good and worthwhile". In reality, what we say has likely been regurgitated by millions across the country. We are not as smart, witty, or special as we think we are when we speak our opinions. All we are doing is putting together a bunch of words, to make us feel better about ourselves, at the cost of the peace and unity of our culture.

These events should draw us closer together, to support one another. Yet, our egos are allowing us to drive wedges within our communities, even our families and close, personal relationships. Great evil will be coming to this country in the form of increased isolation, division and hatred. As a result, we can see more  senseless acts of violence. Our world is going entirely wrong, and it is proving entirely right what has been long spoken in our churches- pride leads to destruction and downfall.

What happened to the LGBTQ community in Orlando on Sunday morning was entirely senseless. It is as senseless as all the killing that took place in the Great War. What did it accomplish? But we should ask of ourselves, what do our reactions to this tragedy accomplish? Are they building bridges? Or are they burning them down, just so we can be right in our own minds?

Do not allow your pride contribute to the further deterioration  of our national community. Instead, swallow a dose of humility, turn off your social media, go out into the world, and see how you can make a change for the better. Start by getting to know your neighbors. Or volunteer to help those in need. Or simply meditate on how you can be better in responding to those who share opposing viewpoints. What ever decide to do, just do it, and do it well, and with a pure heart. That is the only chance we have in stopping the kind of hatred we saw in Orlando, and see daily across our nation and around the world.

Blessings,

Thomas

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Christian Europe and Islam: Intro

Welcome to the first of ten posts on Islam and Christian Europe. Click here to read about more about what I am doing, or to navigate to the next post (as it becomes available).



Europe Prior to Islam

The Mediterranean region was long dominated by the Roman Empire. Rome began as a small kingdom in 753 BCE. After 200 years, it became a Republic, which began its ascent into power, wealth, and expansion. The Republic of Rome saw major land gains over the next 500 years.

 In 27 BCE, Rome made the full transformation from Republic to Empire. It was during this time the empire saw its greatest amount of land.


Rome, c. 120 CE
Rome controlled an empire ranging from modern day Spain to northern Iran, from Britain to Egypt and parts of Arabia. Yet, as with all major empires, this would not last. Over the next several hundred years, Rome would go through countless civil wars, invasions, and decline, especially in the West, where various tribes were constantly causing trouble.

By 324 CE, the emperor of the Roman Empire, Constantine, moved the capital to Byzantium, which was later renamed Constantinople. This shifted the power of Rome eastward, where there was more wealth, more stability, and more opportunity for expansion. Emperor Constantine also caused a cultural shift by becoming heavily entangled with the up and coming religion of Christianity. It was after his rule that Christianity and State became intertwined in Europe.

This strengthened empire would not last for long, and some 150 years after Constantine took power, the Western portion of the Empire fell, as the Ostrogoths sacked Rome.

This is how Europe looked in 476 CE:

Europe, after the fall of Rome
Source: W.R. Shepard, Historical Atlas

This would go on to present some interesting issues that would fully form over the next 600-800 years. In the East, Christianity began to form into something that is more similar to what we see today. In the West, however, outside of the Pope in Rome, Christians fell into a particular heresy called Arianism. This would take place strongest in the various Germanic kingdoms.

Culture, power, language, and religion were vastly different between the East and West, and only grew further apart as the centuries. There was a brief relapse, when a peasant rose through the ranks and became Emperor. Emperor Justinian, with the help of his awesome general Belisarius, went on to reconquer many of the lands that fell to the Goths, Vandals, etc.


Justinian
Belisarius


Byzantine (Roman) Empire under Justinian


This, again, did not last long. Many of the gains were lost as the Empire did not have resources to protect the many frontiers. Much of Italy divided into smaller governing bodies. Byzantine gains in Iberia were limited to what is now southern Spain. Much of Northern Africa stayed in control of the Empire, through the Exarchate of Africa (a particular administrative division.

Around 600 CE, this is what Europe looked like:

Europe, c. 600 CE.
Source:globalsecurity.org 


The Empire was in a state of continuous war with its neighbor and archenemy, the Sassanids (as well as skirmishing with other neighbors). Wealth, resources, and manpower were squandered on war after war. The final war with the Sassanids (also known as Persians) came to last some 26 years, starting in 602 CE, ending in 628 CE. Both sides saw victories in the war, as well as losses. By 626 CE, the Sassanids, allied with European Avars, held the first siege of Constantinople (there would be many move over the next 800 years). Thanks to the famous walls of Constantinople, the Byzantine fleet, and the bravery of the soldiers and citizens in the capital, the siege was a complete failure.

A double whammy came when a famous general in the Sassanid army was defeated. Finally, the Byzantines called on their own allies, a group of Turkic people in the Caucus region, to help fight against the Persians. All of this caused the Persians to withdraw from the lands it conquered (parts of modern day Israel, Syria, Lebanon, and Egypt). By 628 CE the war was over, and the Byzantines had won a Pyrrhic victory (a victory that came at great cost). There would be a truce between the great powers, giving them time to breath and reorganize.  The Byzantines expected a new golden age, after years of decline. Yet, there was something brewing to the south that would sweep over the lands.

Starting in 633, the Persians were attacked from the south. Still wrestling with the unrest, heavy taxation, and high toll of the last war, the Persians were able to fight until 651 CE, when they were finally conquered.

The Byzantines fared somewhat better. They lost many lands to the invading forces, but their empire did not fully collapse until 1453 CE.

Now, I will shift gears to the invasion force from Arabia.

Foundations of Islam
According to Muslims, Islam has always been around since the days that Adem (Adam) walked the Earth. Later prophets, such as Nuh (Noah), Musa (Moses), and Isa (Jesus) were all messengers to lead people back to true worship of Allah (God). The final messenger to mankind came with the birth of Muhammad, c 570 CE.

Muhammad was born in the Arabian peninsula, during a time when there was no great power exerting itself over the people of the peninsula. There were several minor kingdoms around the peninsula, but the main powers of the Byzantines and Persians were to the north. With a few exceptions, these powers did not interact much with the polities of Arabia.

Arabia, c.600 CE


There were trade routes to Arabia, which is possibly how some of the culture from the north came to be there. While Arabia was majority pagan when Muhammad was born, there were pockets of Christians, Jews, and Zoroasters.

For the first 40 some years of his life, Muhammad worked as a merchant, trading all over Arabia. However, this came to an end when, according to Islam, he started receiving revelations. These revelations would later compiled into the Qur'an, Islam's holy book. As a result of his revelations, he began to be mocked by the pagans in his home city of Mecca. Though he was mocked by many, he was also finding followers who were genuinely convinced of his revelations. Because of the increase in followers, and the publicity that he received, the mockery turned into hatred and violence. In what is known as the hijra, Muhammad and his followers fled from Mecca to Medina. Over the next 5-6 years, Muhammad would lead campaigns against the pagans in Mecca, until finally they signed the Treaty of Hudaybiyyah.

After just a year or two of enforcement, the treaty was broken by the pagans of Mecca, and he marched with his army of 10,000 Muslims. Mecca was captured, and Muhammad focused his attention on the other tribes of the peninsula. After some battles and skillful diplomacy, he subdued those other tribes who were a threat to his rule. He successfully united the rest of the Arabian Peninsula under the single banner of Islam. He would not, however, live to see Islam spread past Arabia. Muhammad died in 632 CE.

The death of Muhammad presented a problem. He had successfully united an entire region under a common banner, but who would carry that legacy? This led to a debate about his successor. This debate still rages in the Islamic world, some 1400 years later. In one camp, there was support for Abu Bakr, close companion to Muhammad, to be leader of the Muslims. The other camp threw their support behind Ali, the cousin of Muhammed.  Eventually, Abu Bakr won the majority of support and began the first of the four major Caliphs. This was, in part, what led to the rise of Sunni Islam.

Ali would later become Caliph, after three others before him, but his followers, the Shi'ites, claimed he was the first of the Caliphs. Because of this tension there were a few periods of unrest called the Fitna.

Once the dust settled, the Muslims were able to make considerable gains into the power vacuum that existed after the wars between the Byzantines and the Persians. 30 years after the death of Muhammad, Muslims had conquered lands from North Africa to Afghanistan. 100 years after Muhammad's death, they extended their lands into modern day Spain, reaching even southern France, as well as reaching northern India.

Expansion of Islam

In the next blog post I will cover more details of the early expansion of Islam after the death of Muhammad. However, before I get into that, here are some terms that I have used, or will use over the remainder of my posts on this topic.


Terminology

  • Arianism: A heresy of Christianity which claims that Jesus was not eternal with the Father.
  • BCE/CE: Before Common Era/Common Era. This is a more academic way to label the time periods commonly referred to as BC/AD, respectively.
  • Byzantine Empire: The Greek speaking, eastern remnant of the Roman Empire. For many hundreds of years, it was the main opponent to the Muslims forces trying to reach Eastern Europe
  • Caliph: The spiritual, political, and military leader of the Muslims.
  • Caliphate: The lands under the control of the Caliph.
  • Dar al Harb: "The house of war". The name for lands outside of the Islamic world.
  • Dar al Islam: "The house of Islam". The name for the Islamic world.
  • Dhimmi: Those who are Christians and Jews under Islamic rule.
  • Fiqh: Term referring to the understanding of Islamic law, or Sharia.
  • Qur'an: The final revelation of Allah, according to Muslims
  • Sharia: Islamic holy law. The basis for fiqh
  • Shi'ite:  The secondary branch of Islam. Began as the followers of Ali as the first Caliph.
  • Sunni: The primary branch of Islam. Began as the followers of Abu Bakr as the first Caliph.
  • Sunnah: This translates to mean "example", specifically the example of Muhammad for Muslims to follow. The base word of the term Sunni.
  • Ummah: The collective of Muslims around the world.

**I will update this post with terms as I remember various terms**






Sources:

I will be honest, a majority of this information came from my previous knowledge on the subject. I double checked with Wikipedia to make sure I didn't make glaring mistakes.

The maps were mostly taken from Wikipedia as well, although a few were taken from else were, and have been cited in the caption under their names.

Finally, I did use a book as a guide for some of the information on the Byzantine Empire, and will use it in upcoming posts. It is titled: Lost to the West, authored by Lars Brownworth. It is a very good introduction into the Byzantine Empire, and I highly suggest it for further reading on that topic.

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Christian Europe and Islam

I will be devoting my blog to a few posts about Islam and it's seeming eternal battle with Europe, and all things European.

It is no surprise that Islam clashes with Europe (or the West in general), as the West is considered by many to be Dar al Harb (house of War). It is an other world. And not to be confused, the West has long seen Islam as a heathen religion, also as outsiders. It is what Samuel Huntington (and others) claimed to be a "Clash Civilizations".

These will not be posts to say that Islam is bad and Christian Europe was/is the shining light of the world. I will not absolve Islam or Christendom of any negative actions they have committed over time. Instead, I hope to give a more detailed history of the relationship between Islam and Christendom.

The posts will break down the following topics:
  • Intro: Europe prior to Islam, the beginning of Islam, and terms to know
  • Early Expansion: A look into the early expansions of Islam into the Levant, and north Africa.
  • Spain: Examining the conquest of the Iberian Peninsula, as well as the Reconquista
  • Turks: How the Turkish people came to control Anatolia, and battle the Byzantine Empire
  • Crusades: A factual exploration of the major Crusades (at least the first 4).
  • Out of the East: Eastern Europe's relationship with Golden Horde, Tatars,  
  • Rise of Ottomans: The rise of Ottomans, and their excursions into Balkans, and against Italian states.
  • Fall of Ottomans: Eastern Europe as the Ottomans lost power
  • Worldwide Battle: Examining Europeans as they battled Islam around the world in the age of Exploration and Colonization
  • Conclusion: Considering the present tensions between the West and East, and what the future may hold.
I will update this post when I have finished a posting, linking each topic to a post.

These will not be exhaustive readings, as I simply do not have the time to write a book on each topic (it seriously could be a book for each, with all the information out there). 

When possible, I will list resources at the bottom of each post.


That is all for now. I am really excited for this project. :)

-Thomas