Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Before I get into talking about what is on my mind, I must first say this: I do agree with the above quote. And I believe there is a big difference between humility that a believer should practice, and the "shrinking" that the quote speaks about. Humility is accepting that your ability/talent/work is from God and not your own accord. You know that it is He who has given you this, so you cannot boast in yourself about doing whatever it may be. "Shrinking" is denying the ability God has given you. It is like pride reversed. "I am so bad, that I can't do anything at all", is no different from 'I am so good". The focus is on I am, and not God.
That being said, I want to address this quote in regards to my own life. I have come to be the embodiment of the 'shrinking' person it talks about. I have that greatest fear... I am afraid to acknowledge any talents or skills that God has given me. Why? Because I am scared of having a responsibility, and failing to live up to any expectations. I think this is a pretty common fear among people. And I think it is rather common for people to live lives that are far below their potential. I know that I have lived this way. When I was in school, I lived a life far below my potential. I thought it was good enough to just get by, and my grades reflected that. I went from being always above 3.7GPA in High School, to graduating with a 2.7 my final year of University. I set the bar low. It was laziness through fear that lead me down that path. That is not a pretty path to take, especially when you know your skills are far above where you have set yourself.
It has often been that laziness through fear that has also hampered my spiritual journey. Maybe I don't read as much scripture, pray enough prayers, do enough good deeds, disciple enough people, share my faith enough times, and so on. I am not saying I need to do any of those things, like they are what leads me to salvation. No, I will always say salvation comes from God's grace through faith. It is God's gift to give. However, that doesn't mean I shouldn't do those things. In fact, I have all the more reason to do it. But I prohibit myself from doing. I think I, like a majority of people, are afraid to do those things which God has equipped us to do. What if we fail? Do we fail God? What if we succeed? Do we want that type of power and responsibility? Do we want that close connection to God?
We may say yes that we want to be connected to God, but the truth is that we are scared for some reason. I am scared of being God's ambassador to people, and failing that role. I am afraid of turning people away from God by what I may say or do. What if I am a leader, and I tell someone the wrong thing? I am held accountable for that, and it frightens me.
Yet, God, for some reason, keeps thrusting me into situations where I am a leader, or seen as someone with some authority. People are attracted to me. I don't know why. I never feel like I have anything good to say. Yet people come to me with their issues, concerns, and needs. And I eventually become responsible for helping these people through their times of need. And though I am scared, I rely so much on God and I run forward, eyes closed, hoping for the best. And God is faithful.
So, my friends, I ask that you look at those things which God has given you,and don't be afraid of using them. God gave them to you that you may bless the world around you, for HIS glory. He didn't make you a talented singer, so that you can be afraid to praise Him aloud. He did't allow you to be a diplomatic person, just that you may watch people fight and divide. He didn't make you an intellect, for you to skip class and get below average grades. He didn't make you compassionate, so that you could sit at home and feel bad about the world suffering from sin. NO! He made you these things, to be a beacon of light to the world. You are his flag bearer. Flag bearers were a very important part of the military. The were a symbol of morale. They guided the movements of the troops. Losing a flag bearer could mean a major change to the battle. So if you are a flag bearer for Christ, then why are you sitting down in this battle? He has equipped you to lead with him through this life. Your skills and talents are given that you may go into this world, spreading His kingdom to the hearts of men everywhere.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose hope. Don't sit still. Don't shrink yourself. Go forward, and use those gifts.
Blessings,
Thomas
